Worthless Page 17

  “I’ll hold you to it,” she said, pulling him down for more of his wild kisses.

  “Yeah, you will.”

  The next day went as smoothly as the first, maybe because for the first time ever, Amy was giving her stepmother a real chance, and not simply tolerating her. She’d never been outright rude to Louise, but she’d never let her in to a place where they might forge their own relationship separate of Louise’s role in her father’s life.

  Danny had opened her eyes to the fact that despite her own mother being gone, she had someone willing to play the part. It’d be selfish and stupid of her not to grab love when it was offered.

  It all fell apart back in Miami.

  Early Tuesday morning, Amy headed to her kitchen to grab a cup of the soothing caffeine-free tea she discovered made her nausea dissipate in the morning. She was handling opening that morning and needed tea, then food.

  She walked into the kitchen to see Danny already nuking a glass of water for her. He was dressed for work in lightweight pants and a white T-shirt, a cotton bandana tied around his neck and a hat with a wide brim on his head. Hanks of his sun-lightened hair stuck out haphazardly from beneath the hat.

  “One cup of tea, coming up.”

  “Thank you. Good morning,” she said, feeling shy. They hadn’t shared a bed last night, having gotten back into Miami late, and without having a discussion, ended up in their own rooms. Or rather, she’d gone to her room and shut the door, needing some time to herself. Danny had gone to unload the car of all the newly acquired baby gear, and she’d accepted his offer to act like a princess and go to bed without lifting a finger.

  Now, she was a little embarrassed by her shyness and decided to remedy it by saying good morning properly. She stepped to Danny, getting in his space and leaning up to give him a good morning kiss.

  He stepped back at first in surprise, but once he cottoned on to why she’d stuck her face in his, he reciprocated enthusiastically. She wrapped her arms around his lean waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. “Good morning.”

  “Now it is,” he said. “Feeling better?”

  She leaned back to give him a questioning look.

  “Last night,” he explained. “You raced in the house and shut your door, so I assumed you weren’t feeling great.”

  “I was tired.” She didn’t explain that she was at a loss of what to do with him. They were living together, but it’d be awkward to assume that meant they were sharing a bed every night. They hadn’t even had a real first date.

  While she waited for the tea to cool, she headed over to Baroness von Fancy’s bowl to fill it and do the litter box.

  “Freeze,” Danny ordered.

  “What? What happened? Is there a spider on me or something?” Beside her, Fancy was butting her legs with her head, a sure sign she wanted breakfast.

  “Don’t do the litter box,” he said.

  “Why not? It’s starting to smell.”

  “Because it’s dangerous for pregnant women.”

  “How the heck do you know that?”

  “I read.” He stepped past her to the small hallway where they kept the litter box, and crouched to deal with the cat poo.

  “All right, Mr. Ivy League. I can handle no poop duty for a few months. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure. Please don’t call me Mr. Ivy League.”

  “Why not? Didn’t you get into Princeton?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t go or graduate from any college. I’m pretty far from Ivy League.”

  “It doesn’t take a diploma to be a nerd. How many pregnancy books have you read so far?”

  “Three. I’m starting on the parenting books next.”

  She started to laugh. “To think, everyone back in high school thought you were the coolest guy in Miami. You’re a total nerd!”

  “If you think reading is for losers.”

  She stepped to him, and daringly wrapped her arms around his waist. “I didn’t say that. I love that you’ve read these books. Saves me the trouble. It’s totally adorable. What else are you reading? Because I know you well enough to know you’re reading at least two books at once. ‘Fess up.”

  His hat cast shadows on his face, so she couldn’t tell if he was blushing, but he couldn’t meet her eyes either. “It’s no big deal. It’s a plant book.”

  “A plant book? Like a manual for gardening work?”

  He tried to pull out of her arms, but she held on. “Kind of.”

  “Tell me,” she teased, or I’m going to your bedroom to see.”

  He groaned. “Meditations by John Muir.”

  She released him and started laughing. “Of course you are.”

  He didn’t laugh. “It’s hard,” he suddenly confessed.

  Something in his tone made the laughter flee. “What’s hard?” she asked.

  “Reading. Back…before, I could read anything, and understand it, and be ready to join a discussion on it in class. Now…” He tugged at the bandana around his neck. “It’s like my brain isn’t fully connected. I can read the words, and I understand what they mean, but understanding what all the words put together mean? Nope. As for understanding subtext and other meanings, I’ve lost that. I can barely concentrate long enough to read more than two pages at a time.”

  She didn’t know what to say. All she could offer were words of comfort, which were lame at best. “That must be frustrating,” she finally settled on.

  It was the right thing to say.

  He looked her straight in the face. “Yes. What kills me is that I have only myself to blame. I’m fucking mad at myself. All the time.”

  “Is the anger new?” She reached for her tea and cradled the mug, deriving comfort from the heat.

  “No. The anger’s been there since the moment I got home to a lawn full of cops who told me my parents were dead.”

  “And grief,” she commented.

  “Yeah, that too.”

  Something about the way he looked away from her and agreed about the grief, scratched at her wrong. “Danny?”

  “What?” He was concentrating on his steaming cup of coffee.

  “Have you ever visited your parents’ graves?”

  His coffee cup hit the counter with a clunk and, had he not been gulping it back, it would’ve sloshed over the edges. His expression was dark and angry and conflicted. “Why? Does it matter?”

  “Yes. It matters. I visit my mother’s grave at least once a month. In fact I planned on going Sunday to tell her about the baby, but we went to my dad’s instead. I’ll find time after work.”

  “Amy, your mother’s dead. Why are you telling her about the baby? You realize you’re talking to dirt. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.”

  Oh boy. She’d opened a can of worms, obviously. “Of course, I know my mother isn’t there. But it feels good to be there, as if her gravestone represents her spirit. I feel closer to her there.”

  “That’s nice for you, but if I went to my parents’ graves, it wouldn’t be to share secrets. I’m more likely to yell obscenities and curse them for leaving me alone with a pile of debt.”

  “Danny,” she said, shocked.

  “I gotta go to work. I’m running late.” He stalked out of the kitchen, leaving his dirty mug on the counter and without kissing her goodbye or wishing her a good day.

  She stared at his back, wondering whether she was making a mistake to be open to a relationship with him. There was much anger in him and it could erupt quickly. It had never been directed at her, and was mostly inward. It meant that he was a complicated man.

  A man who made her tea and changed a litter box to keep her safe. But he was also a man harboring serious resentment and bitterness towards his deceased parents. She guessed he’d never properly grieved for them, and it was a festering wound in his soul.

  Having spent the last year mourning for her mother, she couldn’t imagine holding onto that grief and suppressing it for ten years as he’d obviously done.

 
Danny clutched a handful of hibiscus the color of the sun when it sank into the ocean. It was after work and he was walking through South Miami to Amy’s store because he owed her a huge apology.

  She’d merely asked him a question this morning and he’d verbally bitten her head off, then stormed out. Way to build a relationship, asshole. He had to make amends and let her know he wasn’t mad at her. There was a lot of shit on his plate, and without his default coping mechanism—avoidance and drugs—he wasn’t coping well.

  “Danny,” Amy exclaimed as he pushed through her store door.

  “Hey, Bro,” Cat called from the back of the store where she was helping a woman tie on some sort of dress that wrapped around her. He thought Amy might have one similar, because he’d spent a long while pondering the complexities of the knot and if the entire dress would come off if he tugged a certain way.

  “Hi, Daniel,” an unfamiliar voice nearly purred, and he looked from his sister over to a tall, fit woman who was standing by Amy. He tried to get his addled brain to remember who she was, but she came over to coo over the flowers before he could remember.

  “Ooh, how sweet. Are you bringing flowers for your sister? I’ve always wished I had a big brother.” The woman plucked the flowers out of his hands to sniff at them.

  “They don’t have much of a scent,” he said, and reached to grab them back. “They’re for Amy.”

  Her eyes widened. “For Amy?” As if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world that he could be bringing flowers to her.

  “Yes,” he said shortly, not wanting to waste any breath on this woman, whoever she was.

  Amy stepped over to rescue him by taking the flowers. “Thanks for stopping by, Kym. Got your question answered?”

  Now Danny remembered who Kym was. She owned the shop next door. From the look on her face, she hadn’t had her question answered, but Amy’s tone didn’t really leave room for argument.

  The woman looked from him to Amy. Opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but then closed her mouth and waggled her fingers in farewell. “See you. Good seeing you again, Daniel. Come next door when you’re done here. Maybe we can grab some dinner.”

  He didn’t respond, simply gave a nod, as if he’d consider it, because it seemed nicer than rejecting her outright.

  Before she left, she turned back to Amy. “Think about what I said. I’m happy to help you with a workout, because it looks like you’ve been gaining a little weight.”

  He started to call her out for being a moron, because pregnant women gained weight, and it was none of this woman’s damn business if Amy put on pounds while pregnant. But before he could speak, Amy squeezed his hand in warning and gave him a tiny headshake.

  “Thanks for the offer, Kym. I think I’ve got a handle on it,” Amy said. “Bye-bye.”

  When she was gone, Amy looked to him. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to apologize. And hope to take you out for dinner. You said we’ve never been on a date. Let’s change that. Tonight.”

  She held the hibiscus close to her chest and gave a small shy smile that made him want to lean down and kiss her. So he did.

  They were interrupted by the chimes of the front door opening and a shocked gasp. Danny instinctively jumped back.

  “Amy. What about your boyfriend?” Kym’s expression would’ve been funny had it not been directed at them.

  “We broke up,” Amy said, “Not that it’s any of your business. Did you forget something?”

  Kym didn’t answer. “Are you two dating now?”

  He didn’t respond, feeling like the woman was Amy’s colleague, and it was a question for her to answer, but inside he wanted Amy to publicly claim him. She didn’t.

  Instead, she stepped away from him, making him feel cold in the air conditioned shop, and kept her gaze on Kym. “It’s really none of your business. What did you need?”

  “I forgot to ask Catherine if she and Ian wanted to go to the Heat game with me this weekend. If the team wins, they head to the playoffs, so it’s a big game.”

  Amy jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “She’s back there. Ask away, but please wait until our customer is gone.”

  Something in her tone made Kym get the message. “I’ll come back later. How about that?” she said, with a wide, fake smile.

  “I’ll be counting the seconds,” Amy said, but only loud enough for him to hear. He stifled a grin. “Bye,” she said louder at Kym’s back. “God, she drives me bonkers,” she said when the woman was gone, and groaned.

  “She seems to mean well,” he said, not really giving Kym one ounce of his attention.

  “Of course you’d think that,” Amy responded, her tone and stance changing to what he recognized as aggressive. She had a hand on one hip, and her other hand was strangling the stems on the hibiscus. “What does that mean?” she asked.

  She seemed to want to pick a fight, and given how he’d acted this morning, he couldn’t blame her, but he didn’t want to fight with her. He wanted to take her on a date. “Doesn’t mean anything. Listen, you didn’t answer my question about dinner? Can I take you out?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go with Kym?” she said.

  He took a step back, totally confused. Why would he want to go with Kym? He didn’t even know the woman.

  Immediately her hard mask crumbled, and she lowered the flowers in a defeated gesture. “Danny, I am sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Every time I spend more than five seconds with that woman, I get into a mood. And then when she asked you out in front of me, I kind of lost it. I’m sorry.”

  He stepped to her and tugged her against his chest. “Hey. Don’t beat yourself up.”

  She lifted a hopeful face to him. “Can I blame it on pregnancy?”

  He grinned. “You can blame it on anything as long as you come to dinner with me. I want to woo you.”

  “Woo me?” She laughed. “I could use some wooing. All right. Let’s go to dinner, but I can’t get out of here for another hour. Do you want to hang out or go home and I’ll meet you somewhere?”

  “This is a date. I’m going home to shower, and then I’ll pick you up at closing.”

  “I’ll be ready.” She walked him to the door and then called after him once he was on the sidewalk a few steps away. “Do I need to dress up?”

  He scanned her from head to toe. As always, she looked pretty awesome. “Aren’t you already dressed up?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “You’re hopeless. Leave the fashion industry to me.”

  “Believe me, I will. I’m planning on wearing a collared shirt and jeans. Does that help?”

  “Yes, actually. See you in an hour.” She blew him a kiss that he felt under his skin, and then he headed home. It was technically her home, but he suspected that he’d be at home anywhere Amy lived.

  “How was work?” Amy asked after they’d ordered and handed their menus back to the waitress. It seemed like a safe, innocuous question to ask. Now that it was the two of them alone at a nice restaurant on an official date, things were slightly awkward.

  At least she felt awkward. Danny looked mellow as usual, comfortable in his chair across from her, leaning his forearms on the table to better hear her.

  “Fine,” he said.

  Great. One-syllable answers. Maybe he wasn’t as relaxed as she’d thought. If only they could order wine to loosen tongues, but no, neither of them could drink.

  As she tried to think of more conversation topics, she took a minute to admire the picture he made.

  The muscular arms on the table were lightly dusted with hair. A hint of a tattoo peeked out beneath the rolled-up cuff of his dress shirt. It was the same one he’d worn to Cat and Ian’s party. She suspected it was the only dress shirt he owned, which was fine by her, because she preferred him in his usual thin T-shirts.

  Even in the dress shirt, she could see the taut curve of muscles at his shoulders that led to his neck up to his strong jaw. He hadn’t
shaven today, or possibly this week, and she wanted to reach out and brush her palm along the light scruff on his cheeks.

  She wondered if she’d feel the brush of hair between her legs tonight when they got home, because she’d already decided this date was ending in sex.

  “Tell me about New York,” Danny said suddenly, breaking the staring contest, where he’d been studying her as hard as she’d concentrated on him.

  She smiled. “What about it? About living there? My school?”

  “Everything. I feel like I’ve been stuck in Miami for a long time.”

  “When’s the last time you were out of Florida?” she asked.

  His face wrinkled in concentration. “About three years ago, I went on a road trip up the coast, but I don’t remember much of it. Last real vacation I went on was my junior year of high school. We went up to New England to tour colleges. My mom wanted to see fall foliage, and we weren’t going to leave Cat home alone, so we took a week after Thanksgiving and drove all over up north.”

  He smiled in reminiscence. “My dad had a horrible sense of direction, but he insisted on doing all the driving. Said the people up north couldn’t handle a woman from Miami’s version of turn signals and lane changing.”

  Amy laughed. “He was probably right.”

  “It was our last family vacation.” A shadow darkened his expression. “If I’d known, I would’ve treated it different.”

  “How so?”

  “For one, I wouldn’t have been such an asshole. I hadn’t pictured my whole family along for college tours. Cat was fourteen at the time, and she seemed to think she was invited to parties and any other thing I did with current students. My mom insisted on taking my picture at the entrance of every school so she’d have it on record.” He took a long sip of his water. “Man, I’d kill for copies of some of those photos now.”

  “Where are they?”

  “Long gone. When they foreclosed on the house, we took what we could carry. Everything else ended up in a Dumpster.”

  She reached across the table to clasp his hand in hers and give it a squeeze. She only got to hold on for a second, because the waitress arrived with their food, and they had to separate to make room. When all the food was placed and the waitress assured that everything they’d ordered was there, they stopped talking to try their food while it was still hot.