05 Desperate Match Page 8

  “Work? What’s going on?” she asked, looking from Emma to the other woman.

  “Loren and Adam’s wedding,” Emma explained. “We’re decorating the gym.”

  “The gym?” she asked to cover her confusion. Loren and Adam’s wedding was today? Rowan hadn’t said a thing. Then again, she hadn’t seen him since breakfast an hour ago.

  “Yes. I’ll explain on the way. Get your shoes.”

  Faced with Emma’s determination and the other woman’s impatience, she didn’t see an alternative other than slipping into her ancient white sneakers, grabbing her coat and following the women out of the building.

  She blinked in the glare of the winter sun and shivered. Winter was in full force today with its biting cold that made her want to run back to Rowan’s room and snuggle under the covers with her book.

  “You’ve been hiding.” Emma’s blunt statement interrupted her internal weather complaints.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I haven’t seen you since I did your hair.”

  “I haven’t been hi…” She stopped protesting because Emma spoke nothing but the truth. She’d been hiding. She’d left the safety of Rowan’s room only three times per day for meals, and then she’d gone at off hours, racing in to grab a plate just as Marlena was closing down the cafeteria. “I’ve been hiding,” she admitted.

  “Well, stop.” Emma gave her arm a squeeze with her brightly turquoise–mittened hand. “There’s a campus full of people ready to act as your friend. Don’t reject us without giving us a chance.”

  She swallowed uncomfortably and wrapped her arms around herself, faking that it was the cold from which she needed protection.

  “Jill,” Emma continued, “although none of us took your path, we each had to cross our own difficult one to arrive in the same place.”

  She looked from Emma’s sincere face to the other unknown woman, both of whom looked back with tentative friendship and solidarity.

  “Someday I’ll tell you how Xander and I met, but if you want a good story, talk to Thea here. She’s the sole person responsible for putting The Program on the news. You learned about us thanks to Thea,” Emma said.

  Jill turned to the petite pregnant woman. “Really? Do you work in the media?”

  Thea gave a short laugh and pulled open the door to the building that housed the gymnasium. “I’m one of the geneticists on campus. I illegally went to the media, and I paid the price. Believe me.”

  Jill let her arms fall to her side now that they were in the warmth of the building. “You might have paid a hefty price, but it’s thanks to you I’m here. If I hadn’t seen all the reports about The Program on the news, I never would’ve found a way to escape my husband.”

  “Butterfly effect,” Emma said. “Actions have consequences. I may need to use you two as an example for a paper I’m writing. No real names, of course.”

  “Paper?” Jill turned to Emma.

  “I’m finishing my degree at the local university.”

  Jill felt her eyes widen. She’d locked away all her college dreams during her marriage, but snippets of bitterness had started to attack her during the last two weeks. She was twenty–four years old. She should be enjoying her first year out of college at her first job. Likely her high school friends were suffering mean bosses, selfish roommates and bad first dates. She’d commit murder to be able to complain about those things. Instead she had a mean, violent husband, no college degree, and no means of supporting herself.

  It was one of the reasons she’d been hiding in Rowan’s room. It was easier to continue hiding from life with the protective wall of a novel as her shield. She started to ask another question about Emma’s college education, but Thea opened the door to the gymnasium and they were thrust into a hive of activity. Several unfamiliar women and a few of the soldiers, hurried about holding hammers, rolls of tape, and stepladders. Racks of folding chairs stood against one wall.

  The blue gym mats were piled high in one corner. Jill’s gaze circled the room, trying to take it all in. “Loren and Adam are having their wedding here?” She had to shout to Emma to make herself heard over the thwacks of a hammer.

  “Yes. The original venue didn’t work out, so it’s going to be on campus. Emma didn’t meet her gaze and hurried off to her mother–in–law who seemed to be supervising. Jill stood alone and slowly spun in place trying to see how they were going to turn the rather ugly gym into the beautiful room Adam and Loren deserved for their wedding. Why hadn’t Rowan said anything? He’d rushed off this morning before breakfast and told her he’d see her later.

  Bedtime had become her favorite part of the day. She’d snuggle in Rowan’s embrace, they’d share a few heated kisses, but then she’d leave his warm bed for her air mattress and they’d continue talking late into the night. She loved hearing his crazy stories about his childhood misadventures in urban DC. He couldn’t get enough rural Virginia stories. To each of them, the other’s adolescence was something out of a movie. All that talking, and he’d neglected to mention his brother’s wedding?

  “Jill, get over here,” Emma called. “Grab the end of these lights.”

  She hurried over to help, but when Emma started to direct her, she disagreed. “No, they’ll look better like this.” She demonstrated a different way to hang the tiny white lights, and when they stepped back to admire the handiwork, Emma clapped and sighed.

  “You’re good at this. Any other ideas?” Emma asked.

  She looked around. “Well…maybe the aisle would look better if it faced in this direction. Like in a semi–circle rather than a rectangle.” She moved her body to demonstrate because Emma looked puzzled, but once she understood, she smiled.

  “Mom,” Emma called. “Get over here.” Emma’s mother–in–law hurried over, looking harried. “Mom, Jill here is a creative genius. Jill, tell her your idea for the chairs.”

  Jill’s cheeks felt hot at suddenly having all the attention on her when she’d done her best for the past few weeks to fly under the radar, but since Adam was Rowan’s brother, she felt like she owed it to him to help as much as possible with his wedding. “Um, well, maybe if we switch the chairs to face that wall, we can arrange them in an arch to make the room more intimate.”

  Xander’s mother understood the idea right away. “Brilliant. Any other ideas?”

  She scanned the room. “The white ribbons could be draped over the chairs in the aisle.” She looked around some more, her brain starting to whir with ideas. And those flowers you’re gathering in front could be lined in the aisle.”

  She looked back to the women and was greeted by wide smiles. “Okay, Jill, you’re in charge,” Xander’s mother said. “I think I was given the lead because of my age. But I’m not a bit crafty or artistic. You have a real eye.”

  “Thank you.” Her cheeks were on fire.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” Emma said. “You have a talent. Did you do any decorating or art stuff in your job?”

  “Um, no,” she said, ashamed to admit she’d never had a job other than babysitting the neighbor’s kids on occasional nights in high school. Even that job had gone by the wayside when Jack had protested her giving up Saturday nights with him. “I love the home improvement shows though. I watch them obsessively.”

  “Maybe one day you could have your own show.” Emma laughed. “Now let’s get to work.”

  Jill laughed also, but inside, she wasn’t laughing. She’d watched enough home decorating shows and played around in her own house enough to know that it was something she loved. Her Saturday shopping trips at Walmart had been an exercise in frugality and budgeting. By switching toothpaste brands or watering down Jack’s shampoo, she’d sometimes been able to afford a bolt of fabric or a length of ribbon. She’d promptly gone home to recover a pillow or trim a lampshade. She couldn’t imagine the possibilities of having a large budget like the decorators on the shows.

  Emma gathered the group of volunteers, and they circled around Jil
l waiting for direction. At first she was shy ordering these large male soldiers, but they proved to be eager helpers and agile. There was something to be said for barely needing stepladders. All the men were at least six feet tall.

  She set Thea to work tying bows on the backs of chairs as it was something she could do while seated. Thea’s husband wasn’t one of the volunteers, but he’d entered the gym twice to check on his pregnant wife. Jill gathered that the pregnancy hadn’t been an easy one.

  “Are they holding both the ceremony and party in the gym?” she asked Emma.

  Emma looked worried. “Yes. It’s the only space large enough to hold everyone, but I don’t know how we’re going to manage it. Where will everyone go after the ceremony while we set the tables for dinner and dancing?”

  She pursed her lips and thought about a solution. “What if we line the walls with the tables? If we put flowers and loads of candles on the tables, it will be beautiful. After the ceremony, we ask everyone to move their chair to a table.”

  “It could work.”

  “It’ll have to.” Because The Program wasn’t set up to host elaborate weddings, the chairs and tables were a hodgepodge of desk chairs, rolling office chairs and folding chairs. Jill thought she might’ve spotted a beanbag chair among them. “Then the dance floor can be in the center of the room. There’s not a band, right?”

  Emma laughed. “No. Chase volunteered to be the DJ. There was no time to get security clearance for a band to come on the campus or for a caterer or a florist. Hence why it’s a DIY wedding.”

  “Why wasn’t there time? Did they suddenly decide to get married?”

  “No, they’ve been engaged for several months,” Emma said. She flushed and mumbled something about helping Thea tie ribbons and hurried off.

  Jill frowned after her for a second, wondering why Emma had seemed embarrassed, but didn’t have time to wonder for long, since someone suddenly announced the time and they all realized they had two hours left before the ceremony. Less, if they wanted to head to their apartments to shower and dress for the wedding. Which they did.

  She swallowed her sudden disappointment she hadn’t been invited to the wedding. She’d love to see Loren’s reaction when she saw the gymnasium converted into this beautiful wonderland, ripe with twinkling lights and lush flowers. She was being a brat. She barely knew Loren and Adam, and it was ridiculous to expect to be invited to the wedding. Still, it felt a bit like being the odd kid out in a middle school cafeteria at lunchtime.

  “What are you wearing?” Emma asked Thea. “Do you have a fancy maternity dress?”

  Thea smiled. “I do. I tried to fit into Danielle’s, another woman on campus, but that was a joke, as I’m several inches shorter. I ended up buying one.” Her glowing happiness said she didn’t mind spending money on a dress she’d likely only wear once.

  Jill turned away with the pretense of fiddling with a bow, not wanting the other women to see her sudden sadness. Thea’s direct question forced her to turn back. “Um, no, I don’t have anything to wear, but it doesn’t matter since I wasn’t invited.” She forced a smile and a small shrug trying to hide her feelings.

  Both women laughed. “Don’t be a dummy. No one got an invitation. Of course everyone on campus is invited,” Emma said.

  She looked from one woman to the other. “Really?”

  They nodded.

  “Besides,” Emma continued, “you’re with Rowan, which makes you practically a relative.”

  “Oh, Rowan and I…” She stopped before she blurted anything private about Rowan and her. The truth was, she didn’t know what she and Rowan were. They lived together and in some ways were more intimate than she and Jack had ever been. But they hadn’t had sex yet. Sometimes she felt enough desire to overcome her fears about getting naked and horizontal with a man. She’d progressed to the point where she knew that someday she’d be ready, which was miles ahead of where she’d been a few weeks back when she couldn’t imagine ever being with a man again.

  “You and Rowan, what?” Thea asked curiously.

  “Uh, me and Rowan hadn’t talked about the wedding, so I wasn’t sure what the plan was.”

  Emma pulled out her phone and glanced at the time. “We have one hour to shower and dress before we need to be back here.”

  Thea tugged on Jill’s hand. “Follow me back to my house. I have something you can wear if you need.”

  She let herself be tugged. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. The dress wouldn’t fit me now, and it’ll look great on you.” She stopped suddenly, and Jill had to sidestep to avoid crashing into her back. “Unless you already have a dress,” Thea said. “I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

  “No. I don’t have a dress,” she said, feeling relief Thea had made the offer, and she hadn’t had to figure something else out.

  Ten minutes later, Jill was back in Rowan’s apartment about to hop into the shower. Thea’s loaned dress hung in a place of honor over the closet door. The last fancy dress Jill had worn had been her prom dress, and this blew it out of the water. Her prom dress had been a girlish fantasy of pink satin and beading. This was a woman’s dress with its low neckline and tight fit. She loved the color of it. Not quite turquoise, not quite pale blue, it made her skin glow, especially with the new highlights in her hair. Thea had even loaned her shoes, since her only pair of sneakers so didn’t work with the dress.

  She couldn’t wait for Rowan to see her in it. She hurried through her shower, wondering where Rowan was. When she opened the bathroom door, he was waiting outside the about to knock. “Oh.” She jumped back, and tightened the grip on the towel around her wet body. “You startled me.”

  “Sorry. If we’re going to make it to the wedding on time, I need to hit the shower. Don’t mean to rush you.” He looked tired, and she wondered how he’d spent his day.

  “It’s okay. I’m done for now, but I’ll need to get back in to do makeup.”

  “Sure. I’ll hurry.”

  She grabbed the hairdryer and her hairbrush, and then they stepped around each other, her chest practically brushing against his as they switched places. She raced through drying her hair and styling it. She still wasn’t used to the length and its silky feel under her brush. The rush of shower water turned off, and she hurried into the dress, contorting to get it zipped.

  “Need a hand?” Rowan’s deep voice came from behind her. “Cause I got one.”

  She bit her lip and snorted at his deprecating humor. “Yes, please.”

  His large body stepped closer, and he brushed her hair off her back, tucking it over her shoulder. She held her breath at his nearness, although part of her wanted to back up into him and feel his body with hers.

  “Hold this bit,” he said, and she reached behind to hold the material steady. With surprising grace, given he was doing it single–handed, Rowan clasped the tiny metal clasp on her dress, then placed a kiss on the strip of bare skin above it.

  Her entire back broke into tingles, and she hoped he’d do it again, but he stepped back.

  “Turn around,” he said. She obeyed, and swallowed hard when she saw he wore only tight boxer briefs and his skin still glistened from the shower. “Gorgeous,” he said. “You look…amazing.”

  “Thank you.” They stared at each other, each wanting something more to happen, but there was no time. They had a wedding to attend. At last Rowan cleared his throat.

  “Go finish getting dressed. We gotta get moving.”

  She spun and practically raced into the bathroom to do her makeup. No need for blush, her cheeks were plenty pink enough, she thought, staring into the mirror. Her makeup didn’t take long since she only had the bare essentials.

  “Uh, Jill?” Rowan interrupted. He stood in the bathroom doorway. His pants were on, but a crisp white shirt hung open, revealing his taut abdominal muscles. “Can you button my shirt? I can do it, but—”

  “Sure.” Jill didn’t let him finish. He had no need to be embarrassed. Most
of the time, she forgot Rowan operated with a big handicap. He was so strong and capable; it was hard to think of him not being good at anything. She stepped over to him, and found the first button, starting with the top.

  “Get the very top one,” he said. “I’m wearing a tie. And I’ll need your help with that too if you know how to tie a tie.”

  “No problem.” She shut her mouth and concentrated on closing his buttons without running her fingers against his skin. He had just the right amount of chest hair in her opinion. She was on button number four when her vision started wavering from arousal. The steamy heat of the bathroom and Rowan’s nearness made her whole body tighten with need. She wasn’t alone feeling it. As she hit the final bottom button, it was impossible to miss his erection jutting from his unbuttoned dress pants. She said nothing but stepped back when she finished.

  “Thanks,” he said, and started to turn away to tuck his shirt in.

  Something crazy inside her dared her to step forward and reach for his zipper. There was shocked silence from both of them. “I’ll tuck you in,” she murmured. Only the sound of them breathing could be heard as she carefully lowered his zipper and pushed the white dress shirt into his trousers. Her palm rubbed his body with each tuck. She started at her right, his left, and worked her away around until she came to the front.

  “I’ll do that,” he said in a strangled voice.

  She met his gaze for the first time. “Let me?”

  He didn’t answer but dropped his arm and stood passively letting her caress his cock under the guise of tucking his shirt. His body swelled under her hand, and she wanted to squeeze him and reach behind the elastic of his underwear to feel his hot flesh.

  “Jill.”

  “Mm?”

  “You have to stop.”

  She froze with her hand in place. His arousal pulsed against her hand. “I’m sorry.” She yanked her hand free and tried to turn away, but he spun her back and pinned her against the sink counter with a fierce kiss. She welcomed his body, pushing back against him, undulating against his hips which sought hers. The kiss overwhelmed her and she strained to capture more of his mouth, more of his body. She forgot where she was and where they were going. Anything he asked for, she was ready to give.