05 Desperate Match Page 6

  “You do not want a murder charge,” Steven said. “No matter how justified.”

  “Can’t believe I let you take him without getting in a shot,” Adam said, rubbing his jaw. “Loren won’t be happy if I have a bruise.”

  “She’ll kiss it better,” Rowan said.

  Adam didn’t respond, but smiled slightly. “Let’s go home.”

  Rowan nodded and sped off down the dark highway. For the first time ever, the word home conjured images of his small dorm room at The Program, not his tiny dilapidated housing he’d shared with his mother. In his mind, home included Jill waiting for him. He shook his head and focused on the road. He needed to get it together. Jill might be his match on paper, but they were nothing more than that in real life. She didn’t find him sexually attractive thanks to his arm, and he wasn’t too hot on her. He preferred his woman to be sexually adventurous and aggressive about finding pleasure. It’d been clear Jill saw sex as a necessary evil.

  He’d spend the next few months helping Jill ditch the abusive husband, get a job, and get back on her feet. Then he’d go back to Shep and see about finding another woman who could be his true match.

  * * * * *

  “Mom, I’m okay.” Jill squeezed the phone handset to her ear, reveling in the lightness of her new haircut that didn’t tangle on the phone. She was alone in Rowan’s apartment. Hers now, too, she guessed.

  After her makeover, Xander’s mother had pointed out that her parents were probably worried if Jack had called them looking for her. She hadn’t been close with her parents for the last six years; Jack hadn’t allowed it, but Judy was right, she owed them a phone call.

  She’d been on for ten long minutes explaining that her decision to run hadn’t been impulsive. Her parents had no idea she’d been an abused wife. She’d thought about telling them once, the first time he’d hit her, but she’d been too embarrassed to admit they’d been right about her teen marriage. Eventually Jack had made it clear he’d come after her if she tried to escape to her parents. Her parents didn’t have the financial or physical health to keep her safe. And once they’d moved to Florida, she’d had no way of getting to them.

  Now she was left trying to explain to her mother that she’d kept silent for too long. “Mom, I had to run away. Jack wasn’t nice to me. He hit me. A lot.”

  There was silence on the other line, and then finally Jill could hear her mother crying. “I’d wondered,” she said. “After your marriage we stopped communicating, I wondered if things were okay, but you never said anything, and you always seemed so happy when you and Jack came for supper. And then dad got sick, and you never came and visited us in Florida like you promised.”

  “I…” She didn’t know what to say. She and Jack had done too good a job of pretending that all was well in the Thompson household.

  “I’m so sorry.” Jill’s mom was audibly sobbing. “You didn’t feel like you could come to us, and we would’ve helped, Jill. Please know we would’ve helped.”

  “I know, Mom.” She waited for her mother to calm down enough to finish the conversation. “I was scared, Mom. I knew Jack would come after me. Restraining orders can help, but not always.” She shifted her position where she sat cross–legged on Rowan’s bed.

  “Where are you now that you feel safe?”

  She hesitated, not sure how her parents would take the news of her being at The Program. Her parents were pretty religious, and probably fell into the group of Americans who felt The Program was playing God by creating genetically enhanced soldiers. For the first time in six years, she felt the lines of communication opening up with her parents, and she didn’t want to slam the door closed so soon. “I applied to be a breed match for one of The Program soldiers.”

  There was silence on the other line.

  “You know, those super soldiers everyone’s talking about on TV. Anyway, I’m a match for one of the soldiers, and…here I am.” She left off the fine print. No need for her mom to know she and Rowan weren’t living as a true match.

  Her mother still wasn’t talking, and she gripped the handset tighter, bracing herself against her mother’s harsh words. She told herself her mother’s opinion didn’t matter. Safety was what counted. She was shocked at her mother’s next words.

  “Thank God. That was a smart thing to do, Jilly. Jack can’t get to you if you’re there.”

  She tried to speak, then realized she was crying, possibly harder than her mother. “I…” They both cried at each other for a few minutes. For her it was a happy cry and one of regret. She’d known deep inside her parents would’ve helped her if they could’ve, but it was amazing to hear it confirmed. Finally they both calmed down enough to continue the conversation.

  Rowan paused with his hand on the doorknob to his apartment. Jill’s voice carried through the thin door, and he’d never heard her so animated. He felt intrusive listening in, but when he heard his name, he felt less bad.

  “His name is Rowan,” Jill said.

  His ear went up against the door.

  “Mm hmm. He’s very handsome. Tall. Probably around six–two, and really muscular. But I never feel scared with him. He’s so gentle with me.”

  His heart pounded at hearing Jill describe him as handsome. He didn’t know who she was talking to and whether she was telling the truth. It sounded convincing.

  “We’re taking things slow. I’m still technically married, but not for long. He’s helping me file for divorce.”

  A long silence, and he debated opening the door to let Jill know he was home, but her next words stopped him.

  “I know, Mom. I hate that I’m getting divorced, but I had to choose my own safety.”

  More silence.

  “He has brown eyes, but depending on the light they can look greenish. I love his eyes.”

  Rowan blinked. He’d never paid much attention to his eyes. They saw the world clearly and that was what he cared about, but apparently Jill liked his eyes. He listened some more, but the conversation was ending.

  “Okay. Love you, too. When Rowan thinks it’s safe and I save enough money, I’ll come visit. Bye.”

  Rowan waited until he deemed it long enough so Jill wouldn’t know he’d been spying and knocked on the door. “Jill, it’s me. You dressed?” It took a minute, and then the door opened and Jill was there smiling up at him. Only he didn’t recognize her for a minute. She was wearing a clean shirt, and it showed a little cleavage. And she’d done something to her hair. It was shorter and had streaks of red and looked silky enough he wanted to run his fingers through it.

  “Rowan. You’re back.”

  They stood in the doorway smiling at each other. He loved the way her cheeks got pink, making her look even prettier. “I like your hair.” He stepped into the room, and she backed up and ran a shy hand through her locks.

  “Thank you. Emma did it.”

  “Cool. Glad you and she got along.”

  “We did,” she said. “Although Xander was a little…scary.”

  He lost his smile. He didn’t want to have to kick his trainer’s ass, but he’d have to if he’d said something harsh to his match. “What’d Xander do?”

  Jill responded to his frown, producing one of her own. “Nothing. He just sat in the corner looking scary, except when he looked at Emma. It was actually kind of sweet how protective he was.”

  Rowan relaxed. Xander was a good guy. Zero social skills, but he shouldn’t have worried about the dude being mean to Jill. “Yeah, Xander’s totally puss—ah, in love with Emma.”

  Jill hid a smile behind her hand. “You were going to say pussy whipped.”

  “Uh…”

  She giggled. “It’s okay. I can hear a curse word without fainting. Jack couldn’t talk without cursing.”

  “Yeah, I got that tonight.”

  Her eyes widened, and she stepped to him. He liked the feel of her soft hand on his arm. “Oh my God. I’m such an idiot. I got distracted and haven’t asked how it went. How did it go? Was he
so mad?”

  He guided her over to the bed and sat next to her. “Jack is very sorry he ever hurt you, and he’s going to sign those papers and you’ll be free.”

  He inwardly winced when her eyes lit up. “Really?”

  It was tempting to continue lying, but Jill was a grown–up who knew her husband pretty well. “Not exactly. He was pretty pissed when he got the divorce papers. He punched Adam.”

  Her hand flew to her lips. “No. Oh no. Is he okay? I am so sorry Adam got hurt because of me.”

  He couldn’t let that go. He caught her hand in his. “Hey, none of that. Adam didn’t get punched because of you. He got punched because your soon–to–be–ex–husband is a violent idiot.”

  “But, if I’d never barged in on your lives, Adam wouldn’t have met Jack, and he wouldn’t have been hurt.”

  “I never said Adam was hurt. I said he’d been punched. Your husband is a regular civilian and Adam is a trained enhanced soldier. Adam barely felt the punch. Trust me.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive.” He relaxed when her posture softened.

  “Thank you. I keep having to pinch myself that I’m here and I’m safe.”

  “Believe it.”

  His breath caught as she leaned into him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Her arm braced at an awkward angle on the bed and she fell into him. He caught her easily as her face pressed against his. Tentatively he continued the kiss, moving it slightly closer to her lips. His fight with Jack had been three hours ago, but the blood still ran hot in his veins. Desire thrummed through him, but this was Jill. Possibly his woman, and he had to take things slowly. He couldn’t fuck this up. She allowed the kiss, turning her lips to meet his more firmly. He’d been lying to himself that Jill was only a woman he was keeping safe and that he’d let her go to find another match when she left. There was a connection between them that was worth exploring.

  He kept the kiss slow and gentle not making any moves to intensify it. She had to lead. Their lips made soft wet sounds as they connected repeatedly. He was ready to back off when Jill pulled back slightly, but she surprised him by murmuring that she couldn’t reach him easily. He hoped he was reading her body language right and wouldn’t frighten her off by pulling her onto his lap.

  She curled against him and this time she initiated the kiss, even daring to work her tongue into the magic. He forced his body to remain relaxed, but he knew she had to be feeling his erection under her thigh.

  Her arms went around him, with one hand landing on the shoulder of his missing arm. Something tense inside him relaxed. Jill might have told him his arm bothered her, but her current body language told him they’d just been words sprung from a place of fear. She’d come running to The Program for safety. Finding herself matched to a man missing a limb had to have been a blow for her. His chest swelled that tonight he’d proven he was strong enough to take on her husband and protect her. She had to know he was stronger than Jack, missing arm or not.

  Their mouths stayed fused and he let his hand do a little exploring, first around her back then around her belly just below her breasts. All on top her clothes. He didn’t think she was ready for naked. And they had to take it slowly. They were living together and might possibly be a match. If they took their relationship to the next level and had sex but it didn’t work out, things could get awkward between them. Especially since they were living together. He’d be taking away Jill’s safe house. He wasn’t that much of a bastard that he’d let his dick fuck things up.

  But damn it hurt, especially as her hand slid under his shirt and rubbed a gentle circle on his back. For now it was fingertips, but he ached for a future when it’d be her nails raking his skin and her crying out during orgasm. This simple kiss was hotter than all of his sexual encounters combined, and for the first time he understood why his brother and Xander were so gaga for their matches.

  The connection was intense.

  The very taste of her was seeping into his blood, and it’d be a taste he’d crave forever. His hand wound its way into her hair and he deepened the kiss, tipping her head back to thrust his tongue farther into her mouth. She purred a little from the back of her throat and clung to him. The flowery smell of feminine hair product infiltrated his senses, making him hotter.

  For long minutes they got lost in the kiss, blocking the rest of the world out. The sound of male voices coming up the hallway outside his room broke the spell they’d wound around each other. Jill came to her senses first. She scooched off his lap and sat on the navy comforter next to him with a person’s width between them. Her hands fisted in her lap. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have…”

  Gently, he turned her chin to face him. “Don’t apologize. That was the hottest kiss.”

  A small smile spread across her swollen lips. “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “For me, too,” she whispered. “Do you think…maybe we are a match?”

  “Don’t know. Certainly felt like it. Kissed enough times in my life to know there was something special about that one.”

  Her top teeth worried her lower lip as she gave him a confession that rocked his world. “You were my second.”

  “Your second?” he asked.

  “The second man I’ve kissed,” she said. “I met Jack when I was a sophomore in high school. He was a junior.”

  He kept silent, sensing she wanted to share. She needed to share.

  “He was really popular. He played football and everyone liked him. He was dating a cheerleader before he met me.”

  “It’s like a freaking after–school special,” he said, then zipped his lips vowing not to give snarky commentary. She didn’t need it. But she laughed and agreed.

  “I know, right? The school loved it, especially our names. His senior year, the yearbook actually did a stupid page with a parody of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. I, of course, loved it. I thought it was so cool.”

  “When did the hitting start?”

  She twisted a thread on his comforter and stared at the blank TV. “Not in high school, but the signs were there. He was controlling, you know? I wanted to try out for the volleyball team, but he didn’t want me to. I’d have to miss his football games sometimes since the seasons were the same time. If I were a cheerleader I could be at all his games.”

  She gave a gentle snort. “Fifteen–year–old me thought it was romantic that he wanted to be together all the time. It didn’t occur to me that Jack got his way, but I didn’t. It also meant he controlled who I was friends with.”

  Rowan nodded and kept silent, listening. He longed to take her in his arms, for she sat stiffly, hurting with the memories, but he knew she had to expunge them before she could move on. “What else?” he prompted.

  “He drove me to and from school every day. Even after he graduated. I’d been thinking about getting a job and saving up for my own car, but he’d said not to bother since he could drive me on the way to work.”

  “Again, all about control,” he said.

  She nodded. “He set up my total dependence on him early.”

  “What’d your parents think?”

  Tears shined in her eyes. “They liked him. He was polite and handsome and never got in trouble at school. He hid his meanness well, but there were signs. Ask any of the kids he bullied.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Like I said, after–school special come to life.”

  “The first time he hit me was right after our honeymoon. We’d been living in the house about two days, and I was unpacking some presents. I dropped something and it shattered. He got angry and hit me.”

  Jill shut her mouth and got busy staring at the carpet.

  “Jill?” he asked. She gave him a side–glance. It wasn’t enough, but it was a start. “I think you should know, you could throw every single thing in this room, shatter it beyond recognition, and I still wouldn’t hit you.”

  The beginnings of her smile warmed him.

  “I might yell a lot, and I
might even cry if you broke my mom’s picture, but I still wouldn’t hit you.”

  They both turned to look at the framed picture in the center place of honor on his dresser. “I believe you,” she whispered.

  “No, you don’t,” he said. “But you will.” He stood and stretched. “Let’s get some sleep. Driving six hours and beating assholes is tough work. I’m tired.”

  She stood. “You take the bed.”

  “Nah. I’ll be right back.” He left his room and went down the hall to Gavin’s room. He’d been offered use of an air mattress, and he dragged it back to his room. The sound of running water told him Jill was in the bathroom washing up for bed. She emerged from the tiny room in her pajamas, and he did another double–take at how different she looked with her new hairstyle. It’d be too easy to say she was pretty, although she was. Her attractiveness was more in the way she carried herself. She no longer looked beaten and like a trapped animal.

  “What’s that?” she asked, pointing to the large grey object on the floor at his feet.

  “Bed.”

  Her brow furrowed. It was cute. “I’m not a giant like you, but I don’t think I’ll fit in that bag.

  He chuckled. “Wiseass. It blows up like a raft. Gavin said it’s pretty comfortable. Let’s try it.”

  Together they wrestled the rubbery rolled–up deflated mattress out of the bag and onto the floor. Jill found the plug and pushed it into the wall. He stayed silent, but he was grateful for her help. It wouldn’t have been easy maneuvering the sucker and inflating it one–handed. He would’ve managed, but it would’ve been a pain in the ass.

  He found the pump on the side and pushed the inflate button. About forty–five seconds later a full–sized mattress filled the empty space in his small room. A one–foot walkway remained between his bed and Jill’s new one.

  “Try it out,” he said, gesturing to it.

  She smiled and sat tentatively. “It’s comfy.” She shifted around, testing the mattress.

  “Want it firmer? I can add more air.” If she didn’t stop wiggling around on the damn bed, he was going to have to leave the room. She was too tempting, smiling up at him like a child with a new toy.