05 Desperate Match Page 2

  All in all, she could count her blessings. A lot of women had the abusive husband plus no food or shelter. She reminded herself of this as she sank naked into the healing hot bath water and looked over to double–check the bathroom door was closed. She never bothered locking it. A lock didn’t stop him from entering a room, and he’d get mad if he thought she was locking him out. She needed a two–minute warning if he returned from the bar before she was out of the bath, so she could throw on her modest pajamas.

  Another thought occurred to her as she sank back in the tub with her long brown hair floating around her face. She wouldn’t be here for sex night Saturday. That’s what Jack called it. He was often too tired from work during the week to touch her, but he demanded marital rights every Saturday night without fail. She wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t have to close her eyes and spread her legs.

  She wouldn’t have to squeeze a dollop of K–Y inside after dinner to prevent Jack from hurting her as he invaded her body.

  He’d been getting annoyed at her lack of moisture during sex, and she feared he’d get violent about it, so she’d stolen a tube of K–Y Jelly during her weekly shop. She couldn’t risk the purchase showing up on the receipt. The guilt ate at her every Saturday night as she removed the stolen tube from its hiding spot. She told herself Walmart would understand.

  Suddenly she sat up in the bath. The water streamed down her back and over her breasts. If she got a positive email from The Program inviting her into the next round of testing, she’d have to have sex with her match. It was part of the contract. She drew her knees to her chest and hugged them, trying to stay warm in the cooling water.

  Tears mixed with bath water on her cheeks and fell below with tiny splashes. Why hadn’t she thought this through? She couldn’t imagine having sex with a stranger. She would if it meant escaping Jack. Now the tears fell even harder. What if her match was like Jack? What if he hit her? She’d be dead.

  As a plumber, Jack was pretty strong. He had to lift and lay good–size pipes, but not even he could compete with a genetically enhanced soldier. If one of them hit her, she’d be seriously injured and not just with some minor bruising. Maybe it’d be better to stay here with the evil she knew.

  But then the sound of the front door opening reached her faintly through the bathroom door. “Jilly?” Jack called from the bottom of the stairs.

  Jill splashed the lukewarm bath water on her face and leapt out of the tub, scrambling into her flannel pajamas with only a quick swipe of the towel to dry off. “In here,” she called back. “Getting ready for bed.” She ignored the aching pain from her lower back where Jack had kicked her.

  By the time Jack made it up the stairs, Jill was in bed with the comforter up to her chin. All the lights were off, but Jack would throw them on again not caring if he woke her. The bedroom door burst open and the lights flashed on.

  “Jilly?” Jack blinked in the brightness. “Where are you, baby?”

  “Here,” she said from the bed with the comforter up to her nostrils. “I was cold from my bath.”

  Jack came to her side of the bed and sat. He tried to gather her in his arms, but the comforter served as a barrier. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I’ll never hurt you again.”

  She stayed silent, sitting stiffly in his embrace. He didn’t notice as he buried his face in her neck and squeezed her waist making her wince. She was going to throw up. She couldn’t do this anymore. Sex with a stranger was starting to look better. It had to be better than sex with a man she hated.

  * * * * *

  Rowan glanced down at the incoming call on his cell phone. It was an internal number. Someone on campus was calling him. “Hello?”

  “Mr. Blacker. We need to see you in the main office immediately.”

  “Who is this?”

  “It’s Doctor Wise.”

  “Oh, hey, Doc.” He settled back against the pillows on his bed. “I’m watching a movie, but I’ll swing by as soon as the credits roll.”

  “Mr. Blacker, what part of immediately did you misunderstand?”

  “Whoa, okay, Doc. Keep your panties on. I’m coming.” He’d planned on following orders anyway, but something about Doctor Wise had him always poking at her to see if he could find cracks in her armor. So far nothing. She was born without the sense of humor gene as far as he could tell. He’d considered asking her if she’d ever tried to isolate the humor gene so she could inject it into herself, seeing that she was a geneticist and all. But given that he’d been in a paper robe and she had an arsenal of needles at the time, he’d wisely kept silent.

  Slowly he reached for the remote and shut off the TV. He shoved his feet into warm boots. Winter was happening outside. He thought about putting a coat over his fleece but decided against it. It was only a two–minute walk to the main office. Not enough time to freeze. When he arrived in the main office both Doctor Wise and Shep were waiting for him.

  Doctor Wise looked excited. Shep looked…bemused. “What’s up?” he asked, looking from one to the other.

  “Rowan…” He didn’t get to finish his statement.

  “Rowan,” William Blacker called and came bursting into the hallway where they stood in a small cluster.

  “Dad. What’s wrong? Did you run here?” For a fifty–five–year–old man, his Dad was in amazing shape, but it had him worried that his dad had sprinted across campus. Something was up. “Is Adam all right? Loren?” Now he was getting worried about his brother and future sister–in–law.

  “Everyone’s fine, son,” William said.

  “Your match is here,” Shep said with no preamble or warning.

  “What?” He stared at the commander. He barely noticed his father’s strong hand on his shoulder.

  “She just arrived,” Doctor Wise said with more excitement than he’d ever heard from the woman.

  “What are you talking about? We did the blood work less than a month ago. How can you have found my match already, and how is she already on campus? I thought I’d see her picture or read her resume first.” Despite his desire and claims to want to find his match, this was too soon. Reality didn’t start to hit him, because the whole thing was unreal. Surreal.

  “Since we went public, thousands of women have applied to be matches for The Program,” Doctor Wise said. “This woman is the first woman to be a match for any of our soldiers who’ve applied.”

  “How many of us have applied?” Rowan asked.

  “One,” Shep said. “You.”

  “No shit. I was the only one?” He shook off his father’s hand and leaned back against the hallway wall. “You found my match? She’s really here?”

  Everyone nodded. He eyed them. “Now what?”

  “Now you go meet her,” his dad said. “We’ll be out here crossing our fingers it’s a good match.”

  “That’s it? Why didn’t anyone tell me she was coming to campus today? This is how things roll around here?”

  “The whole thing’s suspicious. She wasn’t scheduled to arrive today,” Shep said. “It’s completely against protocol, but Emmett was on gate duty and said she came walking up, shivering from the cold, and had all the right information to get in.”

  “She walked here?” The story was getting crazier. “Has she passed through security? She doesn’t have a bomb strapped to her waist, does she?” he said, only half–joking. The Program had a lot of enemies. It wasn’t unlikely that one of the enemies would send in a seemingly weak female to take them down.

  “She went through security. She has no weapons on her, only a backpack full of clothes, and she looks as if a strong wind would blow her over. It almost looks…”

  “Looks like what, Shep?” Rowan asked.

  “Like she’s hungry.”

  Rowan didn’t like the sound of that. If this woman was his match, she deserved his care.

  “Get going, Rowan,” Shep said. “But be careful. She’s passed the DNA scan, but we haven’t done the comprehensive background check yet. We weren�
��t expecting her to show up until we’d run the check and scheduled a meeting day.”

  “So you’re saying you’re sending me into a potentially dangerous situation.”

  Shep gave him a look. “Do you really think we’d let her step one foot onto our campus if we thought she was a threat?”

  Good point.

  “Go meet her,” his dad said.

  “Okay. I’m off.” He stepped away from the three older people toward the small room he knew was used as one of the testing labs. For all his big words to Shep about wanting a match, he was crazy nervous and excited at the same time. If the mystery woman behind door number one was his match for real, he’d feel a connection to this woman. Something that hadn’t happened since ninth grade when he’d lost his virginity to Dafnee White. He’d had a lot of women since then but never been in love as he’d been at age fourteen.

  He stared at the closed door for a long minute, then knocked. No answer. He knocked again and faintly heard a woman’s voice invite him in. He pushed open the door, holding his breath for his first view of his potential match.

  His stomach sank and he nearly walked out of the room. The woman he was supposed to feel a connection with was nothing more than a slip of a pale woman with hair that needed a cut and good brushing. Her skin looked as if it hadn’t seen the sun in years. And her clothes did nothing for her figure. If she had a woman’s figure. From his view, she looked like a twelve–year–old boy. Only the lank hair halfway down her back gave her gender away.

  The worst part was he could’ve overlooked her less than stellar looks. It was superficial shit anyway. If this woman had the DNA connection with him, he knew he’d desire her. No, the worst part was he couldn’t overlook the expression on her face when she’d seen his missing right arm. She hid the disgust quickly; he’d give her that, but he’d lived with his disability for thirty years. He’d gotten pretty good at reading the looks. His missing arm freaked the woman out.

  He would’ve backed out of the room and gone to Shep to say it was a no go, except the woman rose and reached to shake his left hand before he could escape the tiny room. “Hi, I’m Jill.”

  Her icy hand slipped into his larger one, and he found himself shaking it and not wanting to let it go. Her eyes were an interesting shade of green, and her voice had a hint of an accent he didn’t recognize. “Hi, Jill. I’m Rowan.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Her hand was still in his and he let her pull it free. They stood in awkward silence for a moment.

  “So, ah, what do we do now?” she finally asked.

  “I don’t know. Get naked?”

  No laughter from her at his joke. Instead her eyes widened and trembling hands reached up to start to unbutton the thin threadbare sweater she wore. He reached out a hand and she jumped back.

  “Jill. I was joking. Keep your clothes on.”

  Her hands froze in place on the second button down. “Oh.” Long silence. “Oh.” She gave a small smile. “I’m sorry. I’m very nervous.”

  “Me, too,” he confessed. “Sorry for my crude joke. I joke around a lot; you’ll learn that once you get to know me.” His words were a reminder that there might be a future between them. Instead of relaxing them, it amped the tension. “Should we sit? Talk, get to know each other?”

  “Okay,” she said quietly and backed away to the corner of the couch putting up an invisible line that clearly said “come no closer.”

  He opted for the lone chair in the room and tried to make her more comfortable by scooting the chair back. When they were settled, he dug in his head for some conversation topics to put her at ease. “So where you from, Jill? Do I hear a little southern in your accent?” Bad question. What should’ve been a softball to hit had her looking panicked.

  “Um, yeah. I’m from southern Virginia. A real small town outside Farmville. ‘Bout three hours, depending on traffic.”

  “Or on foot.”

  “Pardon?” She looked at him curiously.

  “My commander said you got here on foot. No car. What’s up with that?” He looked down at her feet covered in old sneakers, not really meant for trekking through the cold.

  “I have a car. I didn’t park it here though.” She didn’t offer any more information and though he thought it odd she’d driven but parked off campus and walked, he let the subject die. Jill seemed skittish, and he thought she might bolt if he questioned her too hard. She didn’t seem inclined to ask him any questions, so he carried the conversation solo. “Never been to southern Virginia. Would’ve said Farmville was a made up place on a computer game. Guess I’m wrong. I’m from here, by the way.”

  She gave him a strange look, and he chuckled. “Oh, right. Of course I’m from here. But I meant I was born here, but I grew up in DC waaay inside the Beltway, if you know what I mean.” He could see by her face that she didn’t. “I just moved back here a few months ago. Long story.”

  Another uncomfortable silence. He didn’t know why he was giving this another second of his time. He and this Jill woman were never going to work, but something made him press on. “What about you? Have you always lived in your town?”

  She nodded.

  “What about for college? Did you get out for that?”

  “I…never went to college.” Her pale cheeks pinkened and he could see a hint of what she’d look like with a little makeup and a real hairstyle. Not as mousy as he’d first assessed.

  “Me neither. Not much for higher education.” Instead of relaxing her that he hadn’t gone to college either, she looked upset.

  “Ever travel? I took my first airplane ride a little while back. Went to London. I didn’t get to see much of it though. Another long story.”

  She didn’t respond with body language or verbal language.

  Finally he stood. “Look, Jill, this has been nice getting to know you, but I think we’re wasting our time. It’s clear I make you uncomfortable, so I’ll let you leave without forcing the issue.” He turned to go, telling himself not to let the disappointment crush him. Jill was only the first attempt. There’d be others. “Bye.”

  “Wait,” she said, and it was a cry so desperate it had him spinning back around. “Don’t go. I’ll do better.”

  He spun slowly back to face her. “It’s not a test. Well, it is, but it’s not one we control. Either we feel something or we don’t.”

  “And you don’t,” she said in a quiet tone he had to strain to hear.

  “I didn’t say that. You feel something, but it’s obvious it’s the opposite of what you should be feeling, which is turned on.”

  “That’s not true. I think you’re a very handsome man.” She started to unbutton the cardigan again, and he found himself helpless to stop her.

  She stripped off the cardigan, which was a shade between brown and vomit, revealing a thin pale pink T–shirt underneath. Thin enough he could see she wore no bra.

  “What are you doing, Jill?” He finally found his voice.

  “I did a little reading about this place,” she said. “Sex is the true test, right? We’ll know if we’re a match if we have sex.”

  Rowan glanced to the small table next to the couch. In addition to the table lamp, two unlabeled bottles of water sat there sweating. The drug–laced water. He’d heard enough details of Adam and Loren’s matching to know he wanted no part of the drugged water. If he were to find his true match, both parties had to do it with their free will and with all their faculties intact. Sleeping with a woman drugged to desire him wasn’t in his game plan.

  “Rowan, we should have sex.” Jill pulled the T–shirt over her head, revealing a nice handful of breasts with nipples so pretty, pink, and pale. She took a step toward him and got to work on the button of his jeans. She didn’t have to fumble with a belt since he rarely wore one. Buckling one–handed wasn’t a party. His body didn’t suffer the confusion his brain was fighting and responded to Jill’s overtures.

  A faint smile appeared on her face and she stroked a trembling pale hand
over his denim–covered erection. “See, you do want me,” she said. Well, duh. Half–naked woman touching his dick? He didn’t know a straight man who wouldn’t respond.

  She tugged his jeans down, taking his boxers with them and got on her knees. He stood there like a dumbass watching this strange woman kneel and start to stroke his penis. It felt good, too damn good. He needed to make her stop. He remained silent.

  After a few amazing moments, he realized this was all about him. He’d never been a selfish lover before. He knelt to hold Jill and maybe do a little reciprocating. “Hey Jill,” he said softly. “Should we move this to the couch?”

  She flinched the second his palm flattened on her bare arm. Goosebumps dotted her skin despite the heat in the room. “Jill?”

  “I’m fine. Stand back up. I’ll finish this. I can do this.” She sounded as if she were convincing herself of her ability to touch him sexually. Now he was the one feeling icy. He stood and yanked his pants on.

  “Rowan? What’s wrong? Didn’t you like what I was doing?”

  He glared down at her, still fumbling with his jean’s button. Damn it. Buttoning things one–handed was never a problem except of course now with a woman watching him. “I liked it fine, Jill. The problem was you didn’t.” There. Jeans closed.

  “What do you mean?” Her arms crossed over her bare breasts.

  “I mean you flinched when I touched you. I know my missing arm bothers you, and don’t lie about it. I’ve had a lifetime of experience gauging people’s reactions to my arm.”

  There was silence in the room as they stared at each other. “You want the truth, Rowan?” she asked.

  “Baby, I live for truth.”

  “I think you’re a very good–looking man, but yes, your missing arm bothers me.”