Worthless Read online

  “Amy? Who was yelling at me on the phone?” her dad asked.

  “Sorry for the confusion, Dad. We thought it was someone else who’s been texting me all night.”

  “Why did he say you’re pregnant? Is that true?”

  She swallowed, and found that Danny was suddenly around on her side of the table, kneeling at her legs, anchoring her with his touch. She grasped onto him hard. “Yes,” she whispered. “I am pregnant.”

  “Well, when were you going to tell me?” Her father’s voice rose in volume, but she couldn’t decipher whether there was anger.

  “Soon. Very soon. I only found out myself recently. I’m a few weeks along,” she said.

  “Who’s the father? I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”

  And this was the part that was awkward with a capital A. She hadn’t realized Danny could hear every word, but he plucked the phone from her hand, and said, “Mr. Stern. Hi, my name is Daniel Ross, and I’m sorry we’re meeting like this over the phone, and with this amazing huge news, but that’s the way life happens sometimes.”

  She watched him with wide eyes, as he continued. “What I’d like is for Amy and me to drive out to Tampa, maybe this Sunday, and we can meet properly and celebrate the baby.” She watched him charm her father and realized this was the Danny he was meant to be, and would’ve been had his parents not been killed, sending him spiraling down a long dark path.

  She couldn’t hear what her father said next, but Danny didn’t look or sound worried as he murmured and ended with a smile and handed the phone back to her. “He wants to speak with you.”

  “No doubt,” she muttered. She reached for the phone as if it were made of boiling hot lava. “Hi, Dad.”

  “We can’t wait to see you Sunday. I’m counting on Daniel to take care of you.”

  “He does, Dad,” she managed weakly, in shock at how easily her father had taken the news. “But I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. I know Louise. Keep her reined, Dad.”

  He chuckled. “You know how she’ll seize on any excuse to shop or celebrate, and this is an occasion for both.”

  “Dad.”

  A sigh. “I’ll do my best. See you, honey. Drive safe.”

  “Will do. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  She hung up and looked at Danny with wide eyes. “Did that just happen?”

  “I’m sorry, Amy. I never would’ve grabbed your phone if I’d known it was your father.”

  She sighed, then plunked her head into her arms folded on the table. “I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again,” she groaned, her words muffled.

  His hand rubbed her leg. “I’m sorry. That’s not how I pictured talking to your dad the first time.”

  She swiveled her neck to look at him. “And that’s definitely not how I pictured telling him I was pregnant.”

  “He seemed to take it well.”

  “Because that’s who he is. He is mellow to the point of catatonic. It’s why my parents divorced. My mom was hot tempered and always tried to pick fights with him, but he never took the bait. Eventually my mom gave up. She thought he didn’t care enough to fight with her, but he doesn’t get worked up about anything. My mom and I worried that he holds everything in and one day he’s going to explode.”

  “Let’s hope it’s not this Sunday.”

  Bzzz

  Amy glanced from the TV screen to her phone. Mitch was texting.

  Please call. Need to talk.

  She ignored it.

  Half an hour later. Bzzz.

  Mitch again. It was tempting to go down the hall and tell Danny that Mitch wouldn’t stop texting, but she knew he’d lose his shit. She turned her phone off, finished watching her show and went to sleep.

  When she woke up, a dozen texts were waiting for her on her phone. “Stalker much?” she muttered, glancing through the messages. They all had the same meaning. I’m sorry, call me, let’s talk, I messed up, don’t ignore me, we can work thru this…

  She sighed and pressed the button to call him back. It was early, but she knew he’d be up and getting ready for work.

  He answered on the first ring. “Amy. You’re not ignoring me anymore?” She chose not to respond to the snarky challenge in his tone.

  “Mitch, I need you to stop texting and stop calling. I told you that I didn’t want to date you anymore. You need to respect that decision.”

  “Why should I respect a decision about our relationship in which I had no voice in making? That’s not fair.”

  Her creepy radar started buzzing. Hadn’t he ever heard the word no before? “Because when it comes to relationships, sometimes it’s not fair. I’m sorry if you were hurt, but my reasons are my own. Please respect them and please stop calling.” She held the phone away from her ear and heard him almost shouting that he wanted to talk in person.

  She hung up, and only after, realized she was shaking. Everything about his reaction to the breakup was sending her insides a red alert. She had not picked up one single asshole vibe from him the entire time they were dating, but she guessed he’d been getting his way then. The second he didn’t get his way, he revealed his ugly side.

  Her phone remained silent for most of the morning until lunchtime when he texted again. She blocked his number.

  “Surprise!” Louise flung open the door revealing a room full of pink and blue balloons hiding the ceiling and pink and blue streamers.

  Amy stopped short in the doorway, stumbling forward when Danny bumped into her back. “Umph” He caught her with ease, helping her stay on her feet.

  “Sorry about…” He, too, lost the capacity for words when he saw the pink and blue explosion in the house. “What the…”

  “You must be Daniel.” Louise sidestepped Amy and grabbed Danny in for a huge hug, which he accepted but didn’t return. “I’m Louise. Amy’s stepmother.”

  He recovered enough to hold out his hand. “Nice to meet you.” Then he reached to her dad who was standing silently alongside his wife. “Mr. Stern.”

  “Welcome to our home.” Louise tugged them into the house and shut the door behind them. “We’ve been waiting. We were getting worried. What took you so long?”

  “We had to stop more than usual,” Amy explained. “My legs kept cramping up from sitting.”

  “Oh, isn’t pregnancy awful?” Louise commiserated. “I was a swollen mess with both boys.”

  She looked around. “Where is Ryder?” Greg, her older stepbrother, was married and living in Georgia, but she had a younger half brother.

  “He’s at a birthday party. He begged to stay to greet you, but he’ll be here later.” Louise was a smooth liar, because no ten-year-old boy wanted to miss a birthday party to stay home to welcome his much older half sister, with whom he wasn’t very close. But Amy let the social nicety stand.

  “It looks like you went to a lot of trouble,” she said, and tried to step further into the house, but kept getting accosted by balloon strings. She swatted one out of the way. “This really wasn’t necessary. Really.”

  “But we wanted to. Your father and I are excited about the baby. Goodness knows when Greg is going to make me a grandma. All my other friends are constantly posting photos of their grandbabies on Facebook, and my page is a perfect blank.”

  Since Amy was friends with her on social media, she knew that not to be true. Louise’s page was a constant barrage of photos of flower arrangements, beautiful, delicious-looking meals, and home crafts. She was a living, breathing Pinterest page.

  “Peter grab their bags and take them to the guest room.”

  “It’s all right,” Danny said. “I’ve got it. If you’ll show me the way.”

  “I desperately need to use the restroom,” Amy said, and brushed past everyone on her way through the kitchen to the downstairs powder room. Having stopped for a pee break five times from Miami to here, she didn’t actually have to go, but needed a moment by herself. Somehow in all the packing and dr
iving to her dad’s house, she’d blanked on the fact that she and Danny would be put in the same bedroom overnight.

  Louise considered herself cool and laidback. She didn’t buy into the whole no sleeping together until marriage thing. She would’ve planned for Amy and Danny to share a room, not to mention the fact that they had only one guest room.

  Unless Amy wanted to be a bitch and make Danny sleep on the curved leather sofa in the living room, they were sharing the queen bed.

  She flushed the toilet, apologizing to the planet for wasting water, and then actually washed her hands. A glance in the mirror told her that other than her hair looking a little windblown, she looked okay and not completely freaked out. Taking a breath, she exited the bathroom and headed out to find Louise, Dad, and Danny sitting on the living room sofa with a pile of vomitously adorably wrapped presents piled on the table in front of him.

  “Are you starving for a late lunch?” Louise asked, “Or can we have the mini baby shower first?”

  She eyed the pile of presents and glanced at Danny.

  “I’m actually pretty hungry,” Danny said. “In all our stops for Amy to use the facilities, we never got any food.”

  “Thank you,” Amy mouthed to him. She wasn’t ready to face presents and start exclaiming over baby items, when she’d barely gotten on board with the pregnancy, let alone the reality of being a mother.

  “Into the kitchen, everyone,” Louise announced. She opened the fridge and pulled out a platter of sandwiches, but not ordinary sandwiches. Four types of sandwiches, with different fancy breads, cut into triangles, squares and even a roll-up. All had flourishes of garnishes. And the platter itself was beautifully arranged as if a caterer had been in charge.

  “Wow.” Danny was eyeing the food, obviously a little stunned. “I didn’t mean for you to go to any trouble. You didn’t have to order from a caterer.”

  Amy who was used to Louise’s excess, remained silent, but her stepmother melted over Danny’s inadvertent compliment.

  “Don’t be silly. I love cooking. Whipping this up took no time.”

  Her father stayed quiet, but grabbed a pile of plates from an upper cabinet and went to reach for a sandwich.

  “Peter,” Louise said. “Not these plates. The others.” She pointed to square paper plates from a party store with a baby shower motif.

  Her dad wordlessly put the plates back and grabbed the correct plate, helping himself to a sandwich. “Dig in,” he said, saying something at last.

  “Which one do you want, Amy?” Danny asked, grabbing a plate and starting to grab some food for her.

  “Aren’t you sweet?” Louise said. “Pete, do you see how he’s taking care of our girl?”

  Amy tried not to let the use of “our girl” bother her. As far as stepmothers went, Louise was pretty good. Any distance in the relationship was Amy’s fault. She’d been a moody teen when her dad had remarried a bare year after the divorce.

  Louise had done her best to break down her wall, claiming she was thrilled to have a daughter, but as far as Amy was concerned, she had a mother and didn’t need another. However, her mother had died last year, leaving her without a mother, and suddenly Louise’s devotion might be something worth exploring.

  That night, lying on her side of the bed, she waited stiffly for Danny to finish in the bathroom. He’d let her go first. The door creaked open, and he made his way to the bed with only the small nightstand light on to guide him.

  “Ow, shit,” he muttered.

  An abundance of baby gear now littered the room, and he’d stubbed his toe on the umbrella stroller box. There was no need for a baby shower because her stepmother had gone wild at the baby store.

  “Sorry,” Amy whispered. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his toe. He’d changed into a thin T-shirt and loose boxers.

  “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you we’d be sharing a room. I forgot myself,” she said.

  “It’s fine.” He lay down next to her, giving her his back, but there was nothing about his pose that spelled relaxed, as if he were ready to sleep. She rolled to face his back and gave him a gentle poke.

  “What?”

  Yep, he definitely sounded annoyed. “Are you all right? You seem tense.”

  “I’m fine.”

  No. He wasn’t. “No, you’re not,” she said before thinking through his reaction.

  “Amy. Drop it. It was a long drive and I’m tired.”

  “I was the driver, and I’m pregnant. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine, but I can tell something’s bothering you and I want to know what’s wrong. Is it that we have to share a room?”

  He rolled over with an annoyed huff. “I think I’ve made it clear that I want to share a bed with you every night.”

  “Then what’s the matter?”

  “It’s…” He pursed his lips. “Everything.” He gestured to all the baby crap on the floor. “I guess I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and jealous.”

  “Overwhelmed, I get. I didn’t even know babies needed half this much stuff, but jealous? Of the baby?”

  “No. Of you.”

  “Me?”

  “I know you lost your mom last year, but you have a dad and stepmom ready to step in. It hit me hard today that my parents will never know my kid, never get to be grandparents.”

  Tears sprung into her eyes. “Oh, Danny.” She reached for him, and he let her embrace him. “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s so much shit they’re missing this year. Cat’s wedding, and now the baby. I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I’ve been losing it a lot lately, and it’s not like they died recently. It’s been more than a decade. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

  “Nothing.” She rubbed his back. “You spent most of the past few years too messed up to miss them. Perhaps…” She hesitated, unwilling to venture into therapy territory, but forged ahead anyway. “Perhaps, the drugs were easier than your grief. Staying sober meant living with pain.”

  He didn’t respond, and she feared she’d overstepped. But he didn’t roll out of her arms or get angry. Instead he lay docile, seemingly content to let her comfort wash over him.

  “You’re right, you know,” he said at last. “It was a pretty common theme in rehab that drugs hid another pain. Thing is, now I’ve got two sources of pain. Missing my parents and missing the drugs.”

  “Do you miss them?”

  “My parents? Didn’t I…”

  “No, the drugs.”

  He didn’t speak for a while, and then in a low rough voice, said, “Hell, yes. Every second. That feeling when the high first comes on, and everything else melts away, but then everything intensifies. Best fucking feeling in the world. Always chasing it…”

  “Have you felt anything better?” Her question was innocuous, but she felt like their future depended on his answer. If she couldn’t offer him anything better than the high of illegal narcotics, they might as well give up now. He’d be forever seeking something she couldn’t, and wouldn’t give. She didn’t count the seconds waiting for an answer, but the old-fashioned grandmother clock on the wall ticked away.

  “Cat’s smile when she looks at Ian,” he finally said. “Your smile when I bring you donuts.”

  She laughed, and it was full of relief and a joy as light and free as a puppy bursting from its crate. They might have a future together if he ranked her smile higher than drugs.

  “Your face when I make you come. Your hand on my dick. Your mouth.”

  With each word, his voice dropped until it was a low rumble against her skin. She strained to hear the final thing on his list.

  “Our baby,” he finished. “Can’t fucking wait to see what she looks like.”

  “She?”

  “Just a guess.”

  “It’s a good one. I’m feeling feminine vibes from her too.”

  He laughed. “So I should buy a lot of pink?”

  She gave his should
er a gentle shove. “It’s like you haven’t even met me. Do you think me, fashionista of Florida, is dressing our baby in something as cliché as all pink?”

  He half groaned, half laughed. “Do I foresee a new baby clothes section in your shop?”

  “It’s a thought, but unlikely. Maybe maternity. My whole brand is about making a woman look good in the body she has, and babies are all roughly the same size and shape. Not much challenge.”

  They lapsed back into silence, but this time his body was relaxed, their skin brushing at their knees and fingertips. She reached to interlace her fingers with his. He allowed the contact and held on tight.

  “Amy?”

  “Mm?” Sleep was drifting through her, having been up early to drive the five hours to Tampa.

  “I want to kiss you.”

  His bald statement woke her right up. “All right.” He’d never asked before, had always simply taken. The sweet question aroused her, and she didn’t wait for him to take what she offered, and instead leaned into him and pressed her lips to his.

  He tasted of toothpaste mixed with his own warm unique taste. She loved that he always smelled like the outdoors, even on a day he hadn’t spent in a yard. He allowed the kiss for long sweet minutes, then pulled back.

  “We’re in bed in your parents’ house,” he whispered.

  “I know,” she whispered back. “We’re not going to have wild circus sex. It’s only kissing, you prude.”

  “Did you call me a prude?”

  “If the name fits,” she said, giggling.

  With a pretend growl, Danny closed the distance between them, pinning her to the bed and pressing silly kisses all over her face, ending with a touch to her lips that quickly turned serious. He held the full weight of his body off of her, but she could still feel him in all the good parts.

  “No wild sex?” he murmured, his mouth on her neck behind her ear. “Are you sure? I can be very quiet.”

  “I can’t,” she said, bluntly. “You do things to me, not to mention, I’m not a tiny little thing that won’t bounce this bed around.”

  He gave the mattress an experimental push. Squeak. “I see your point. Putting a pin in wild sex.”